I think we found it!!!!!!!

I had a CT scan today for my sinuses, because my doctor thought she saw a cyst. After my CT scan, the nurse asked me, "Hun, have you had any trauma to your left eye or the left side of your head?" I said no at first. I've never been to the ER, so why would I have any trauma? I had been asked that question I think twice before, if I had any trauma to the left side of my head. Then I started thinking.....

When I was 7 years old, I had a bike accident, and it's probably the biggest accident I've ever had. I was riding, and my helmet (I wore one at the time, I don't now) was loose and was sliding over. So foolishly, I took both my hands off the handlebars and tried to straighten it. The bike started swerving, and then the front tire hit a rock in the road. I flipped over my bike, and landed head first on the left side of my face on the ground. My helmet, which fell over on the left side of my head, protected me from having a serious injury.....or, maybe just an ER visit. I was thinking, "Why would it be causing headaches NOW instead of then?" But I remembered my older brother, Steven. He had a bike accident when he was 12, and recently in January of this year (he is 21 years old), he was having problems, and it was because of that bike accident. Same might be for me. Mom and I viewed all the pictures of the CT scan, and we definitely saw there was something on the left side that wasn't on the right side. It might not even be a cyst. It could be something more, something I got from that bike accident.

It all makes sense. My focal ischemia is on the LEFT side of my brain. The cyst (if that's what it is) is on the LEFT side of my face. My LEFT eye happens to be far-sighted, and it wasn't before I was 7 years old. And, if anyone's seen pictures of me smiling, the right side of my face goes higher than the left side. My smile, since 7 years of age, has not been even. The left side has been lower: my right gum shows more than my left.

It's making sense. I'll go back to the doctor on Monday, I think. If he says it's not what's causing the headaches.....I think I'll just cry. If it IS from the bike accident, I will probably have to have facial surgery to have whatever it is fixed. I don't like the sound of surgery (I've never liked the sound of surgery, and I've never had it before), but I'll do whatever it takes to get rid of these. You don't know how desperately I hope this is what's causing the headaches. I've been praying for this to be the cause. Although it's kinda funny imagining God saying, "Why, that's a funny thing to pray for. Normally people pray to NOT have a trauma accident, not to have one." Anyway.....please, keep praying! It's definitely appreciated, as always!!

And I just wanted to say, Chad and Cameron, you guys are SO AWESOME. Your support has had a tremendous impact, just to know that people care enough to pray for me. You guys may not know it, but a couple of simple, "Keep going, we're praying for ya" comments really make me feel great and help me get through the day. I've learned a lot with this period of my life, that maybe you guys can think about too:

#1: I've learned to trust God fully and completely. People need to do keep their focus on God in daily life, but I never really knew the meaning of "trusting God" until this happened. I don't know where I'm going with this. This road has taken a whole bunch of unexpected turns, often leading me back to where I started, and at times it can be frustrating, and at times it can be heartbreaking, and at times I cry out, "Lord, where are You? I've been calling out on You and trusting in You for so long, and nothing has happened. You haven't showed Yourself. Where are You?" But 15 minutes later, I will accept it as it is, that God will help me in His time, and continue to trust in Him. People don't really see how much they need to trust God with their daily lives. I didn't see it before I got struck with these headaches. I need to trust that God has something in plan for my life, in either the near or far away future. Maybe I'll impact lots of lives. Maybe I'll have something much worse than this, so He's been strengthening me. I don't know.

#2: I've learned to NEVER, EVER, EVER take being painfree for granted. It's so easy to. I mean, everybody does. You go through your daily life, don't even think about how you're not in pain. You worry about other things, like emotional things or *gasp* homework!! But nobody ever thinks about not having any pain, and end up moaning and complaining about a temporary stomach ache. I used to do that too. I'll never complain about a simple sore leg or a cramped up stomach, because I'll remember what I went through before (whenever this is over). Nobody should ever take being painfree for granted. Be thankful you aren't going through such a trial as I am.

#3: I realized that I AM touching people's lives. I tell friends, friends's mothers, even my own family....they know what I'm going through. They can't imagine how I could ever stand this. They can't imagine what THEY'D do if they were in the same situation. And they gape at me and stutter out, "And...and you're still smiling??! Bless your heart!!" I say, "It's better than moping around all day." But I just can't help but smile through it. God loves me!! I have Jesus on my side!! People see me shining His light, and they are amazed. So, Chad and Cameron....if you ever go through a trial you think you can't possibly stand....if you're in constant pain and you just wish it would end....people are watching you. People see your reaction to it. If you ever find yourself in that situation, keep your focus and trust in God, smile throughout your pain, and shine His light. People will see it. And you can impact a lot of lives for Him that way. :)

Thank you for the prayers, you two are great!

~*~Rach~*~